A couple of things I forgot to add in yesterdays Venus Rx post:

• Given that the Rx is in Gemini, a Mercury ruled sign, this retrograde may take on the flavour of a Mercury retrograde- so watch your messaging and your mode of messaging eg it may be worth chatting face to face rather than risk a predictive text mishap…
• It’s not all bad.

It’s this last point that I will say more on. It’s not all bad. No retrograde ever is.

We are busier than ever these days, in a swirl of social engagements and with no many different ways to interact and to spend money. Venus Rx is the Universe’s way of slowing us down a tad, letting us talk it over properly, taking us within.

This is also a great time for re-negotiating the terms of existing commitments and relationships. If something isn’t working for you, explore the reasons and take the time to talk about it. If your budget isn’t working for you, explore the reasons and take the time to check the details. If your style isn’t working for you, explore the reasons and take the time to check out alternatives. Get the idea?

This is also a great time to look at the ghosts of relationships past and exorcise them. Important exes (or unrequited love interests) have a dreadful habit of raising their troll-like heads into your dreams, your consciousness or your face during this period. Go with that.

Old friends may also suddenly pop back onto your radar for whatever reason. Don’t examine it too closely- just enjoy the re-connection.

And one last thing- it probably isn’t such a great idea to rush off to Vegas and get married in the next 6 weeks. Just saying.

Check out the video & lyrics for Gotye’s Hearts a Mess here.

In case you’re interested… I am now blogging all non astro stuff over at and anyways.

It seemed like the best place for my recipes, photos, travel & training posts, so pop over and have a look. It’s still a work in progress, but the construction site is perfectly safe.

I’m off to Bali next week, so check in there regularly for photos and snippets.

This post could very easily have been called “Ghosts of Relationships Past”, but given my unfortunate habit of using song titles…

What does Venus mean to you?

Is she about art, beauty and serenity? Perhaps she is all about love, romance and fantasy? Or maybe Venus is how you feel about yourself, whether you feel that you are worth something or deserving of little?

Maybe your Venus style is comfort, being ready to charge into battle at a moments notice, perhaps you are a quiet quality girl or a flashy label chaser. Maybe you are a push up bra, push up heels, the worlds a catwalk kind of girl. Maybe your style doesn’t make you feel comfortable…maybe it isn’t really You.

Are you a mad shopper for no reason but to simply shop? Are you seduced by a package, a gift offer, a promise of perceived luxury? Do you shop on impulse or only after careful consideration?

And what of your relationship style? Do you fall for the same type every time? Do you believe and believe and believe again until you can believe no more? Is the way you feel about yourself tied up in the way you relate to others? Do you have a “Mr Big” that you rush to repeat past mistakes with the minute you get that text?

Perhaps your relationships fail at the same point every time. Be honest, is this something that you are doing unconsciously? Perhaps as he pulls closer you pull away ever so slightly, but enough for him to think you are no longer interested. Perhaps you chase and chase until you land him and then plead that he is trying to own you once he starts calling once a day.

Maybe the closeness and fear of having your heart broken again simply scares the crap out of you, so it is easier to run before that happens. Maybe it is easier to leave or find a reason to leave before he does. Maybe you so desperately need to belong that you hold on tighter and tighter and tighter until he can no longer breathe…

And remember that these descriptions hold true for both sexes.

Venus themes intensify around the station. I read something somewhere (and apologies, but I can’t remember all the details, but it sounds pretty right) that if you fall in love at the station direct, it will be a pretty deep, meaningful and intense relationship. Magical almost. Apparently this time is ripe for coupe de foudre: love at first sight, a bolt of lightening.

During any retrograde, we go inward for a time to process what that particular planet has to teach us. In the case of Venus, this is largely around money, relationships, trust and self-esteem issues- and our patterns, perceptions and habits in relation to these issues.  Given that this retrograde is happening in Gemini it will be more like “we need to talk” or “about last night”.

Things that you do around Venus themes Every Single Time will come up in one way or another over the next 6 weeks or so. They may not be relationship patterns, but perhaps patterns in the way you treat yourself or spend your money or trust others. But they will come up.

Don’t be surprised if old relationships come back to haunt you during this period. You may physically bump into an ex or simply find yourself dreaming of and thinking of them. Let yourself go with that. What could have beens are normal and any meeting just may be an opportunity for closure or clarity.

The “rules” and “re”-words that are important during a Mercury retrograde can be applied to Venus as well, but in terms of Venus themes and activities, here are some ideas, hints and possibilities:

• When buying, beware. Just as you would check a contract during a Mercury period, do the same under a Venus retrograde. Venus is also about your personal resources, so be careful not to sign yours away or commit your resources above that which you can afford.
• Which brings me to the 2^nd point: when buying, beware of over-commitment. This is not the time to be increasing your credit card. It is, however, a great time to review your personal spending.
• When reviewing personal spending and credit contracts be realistic about your lifestyle needs and habits. Don’t think you will be happy to watch the paint dry and reality TV every night for the next 2 years so that you can buy that designer gear when you know damn well that to do so would be the end of life as you know it.
• Before tearing off on a shopping spree, review your wardrobe requirements, realistically. Don’t buy that great dress that is still hideously expensive at 50% off if it doesn’t fit you right now (trust me on this one J) even if you think it will look great when you have lost those last 15kgs- your credit card will love you for it.
• Venus retrograde is not a great time for cosmetic surgery- that’s all I’m going to say on that one! In fact, it’s not a great time to make any wholesale changes to your hair-style or colour either.
• Perhaps your Venus lesson is around your personal style. Maybe you have outgrown yours? Now could be the time to research what colours and shapes make you body and heart sing. If you really have no idea (and lets face it, many of us don’t), check out your local shopping centre or directory for shopper help or personal stylists- they aren’t just for celebrities and can save you a fortune in bad decisions….just don’t buy up big until after the RX, now is planning time.
• A Venus retrograde period is not the time to start a new relationship. Nor is it necessarily the time to finish one. It is a great time to review the relationship you have and how that relationship makes you feel about yourself. How you feel during the retrograde may be very different to how you feel afterwards…a bit like a one night stand, I guess.
• This is a great time to renegotiate existing commitments or issues in existing relationships. And that’s a good thing.
• But what if it just happens, I hear you ask? …these things do… Think like you would during Mercury retrograde- don’t rush in to commit yourself until you have been through all the fine print. This person may have come into your life in order to help you go within, maybe show you a new way to resolve an old problem…and could show you a whole lot of new and inventive ways of doing it!
• Existing relationships may be tested, so apply the filter in need to avoid any miscommunication.
• If a relationship is started when Venus is retrograde, it may have similar qualities to the natal Venus retrograde position- feelings and emotions may be felt, but may not be expressed easily. The relationship may feel insecure or misunderstood.

One of the most annoying habits astrologers have is to ask you to think back to a time when a similar planetary alignment was happening and examine the themes that were prevalent. Whatever. It is easier for us, because we work with an ephemeris and a very heavy dose of hindsight.

However, if you can recall, think about what was happening in your life during May 2004- the last time Venus was retrograde in Gemini and notice over the next few weeks whether there is a repetition of any of these themes.

I took a deep breath today and started sending query letters out to agents for my manuscript.

I’ve sent it off into a couple of free for alls (ie the only days of the week/month that some publishers have for unsolicited manuscripts) where the first 10 pages or so goes off into a great black hole. From what I’ve heard, the first page gets read. If you’re lucky.

I’ve also entered the first 10,000 words in a romance writers manuscript mentoring competition- mainly because I know it will get read.

Anyways, I’ve never been one of those people who knows someone, so need to create my own opportunities. I’ve never been one of those people who has had a leg up into a job because they’ve known someone, or went to school with someone, or is friends with someone. And I certainly don’t know anyone who is involved in any way shape or form with publishing. So I am doing it the hard way. Which, in a way, is a good thing. You see, this means that I really have to believe in my product, and, despite the occasional Saturn in the 1^st house lack of confidence wavering, I do.

So, I’m going down the agent query letter line. And, you know, that isn’t entirely a bad thing. I am also writing an Astro manuscript, so will need to navigate the whole chick lit vs non fiction minefield thing.

As I parcelled up the 3 chapters (hard copy- first chapter plus two others), re-did the synopsis yet again (they all want a different word count and different submission format) and tried to fit everything that anyone can actually want to know about me onto a single A4 page with double spacing and 3cm margins, I took some comfort from the stars.

The Sun and Jupiter were still joined in the afterglow of their conjunction. That crucial 17 minutes of cazimi (when Jupiter is basking in the eye of the Sun) was still valid, and still sextile my Ascendant. The electional chart ascendant was Scorpio, in fact, at the degree of my Neptune. Yep, the things dreams are made of, and the Moon/Neptune are joined in Pisces in the 3^rd, which I think bodes well.

Oh, and the Sun/Jupiter conjunction was in the 5^th house.

Anyways, it is all parcelled, and I will cross my fingers for the next 8-10 weeks…apparently that’s how long it takes to read unsolicited queries. In the meantime, I will keep on pushing on.

Astrology in real life.

Tomorrow is Mothers Day, and I posted something about Mothers Day and the Moon and Mum etc yesterday.

The day is about our kids, the 5^th house- but not just the snotty nosed fruits of our loins (naturally my gorgeous 14 year old is no longer snotty nosed)- appreciating those who created their privileged existence and brought them kicking and screaming into reality. The 5^th house is about everything we give birth to and take a risk on- in both a creative, literal or figurative way.

Think about this one. You’ve written a book (oh no, wait, that’s me…), you’re growing a business, you’ve created a new enterprise. Each of these involves nurturing, and each involves taking a risk, or two. In each case you have taken the idea from a mere glimmer in the eye and given birth to something new and pretty damn special.

Traditionally astrologers would look to the 5^th house for fertility- the sign on the cusp, the condition of the ruler, aspects with the Moon, planets within that house.

Of all the signs, the water signs are said to be most fertile. The presence of Jupiter and easy aspects to the Moon would enhance that. But before you rush away and look at your charts, there is much much more to using astrology as an indication of fertility. Much more. Likewise the whole thing about Jupiter and Moon aspects and breast size (that one I have found to be right, but we aren’t going there. Ahem).

Conversely, contrary to popular opinion, Saturn in the 5^th doesn’t mean that you will never have children but rather that you either may delay it and/or take the responsibility of kids very seriously (as indeed we should). I have one friend with Virgo on the cusp of the 5th, Saturn within the 5th and four children. As I said, there is a lot more to it.

Fertility doesn’t necessarily mean children. It may mean that you are highly creative, or have other more metaphorical children that you develop and then set free into the world.

As an example, I have Cancer (a very fertile sign) on the cusp of my 5^th house, Jupiter within it in mutual reception to my Moon in fertile Pisces. I have one child, and didn’t give birth to her until I was 31. That one really threw a lot of astrologers when I was training. I was once asked by one whether I was sure about that. Ummmm, yes. Really? Yep, just the one.

I am, however, for want of a more appropriate word, prolific when it comes to creative output. This is where I take risks, and this is also where I wrap my babies (my books) up in the cotton wool of my very stylish mac computer- just in case someone out there says something nasty that will hurt their feelings.

So, this Mothers Day, celebrate your own 5^th house- and let whatever little buggers that lurk within nurture you for the day.

Oh, and the title of this post is an Abba song that always makes me cry, especially when I think about just how quickly my own little snot rag is growing. Awwww…..She just says (when I tear up)….”whatever”.

Me & my Mum

I posted this last year for Mothers Day, and you know what? The sentiments haven’t changed. So, in time for Mothers Day on Sunday, here’s a little about Mum and Moon.

April Elliott Kent posted one of the best blogs I have read recently around Mother and Moon aspects in the natal chart- The Moon and Momzilla. That article got me thinking this morning about my chart and my Mum…and our relationship.

Astrologers will tell you that difficult aspects to the Moon, ie squares, oppositions and conjunctions with some of the more “difficult” planets, will mean you had (or have) a difficult relationship with your Mother. In many cases this may be true, but as with all things astrological, there are many more less literal readings of the situation.

Take my Moon for example. In Pisces in the 1^st house (I wear my heart on my sleeve, my Moon is me…), my Moon has some difficult aspects to deal with:

• Conjunct Chiron
• Conjunct (out of sign, so I pretend it doesn’t exist) Saturn (less than 3 degrees)
• Opposite Pluto
• Opposite Uranus

According to astrologers I have encountered over the years, this tells me the following about my mother:

• Conjunct Chiron- My mother died or abandoned me when I was child. My Mum is still extremely present (and, even more impressively, the same weight as the day she got married). The only abandonment I suffered was the usual separation and responsibilities as a result of being the eldest of 4.
• Conjunct Saturn- indicates a lonely, oppressive or otherwise burdened childhood. Nope. Sure we moved around a lot, sure I had responsibility, but trust me when you have younger brothers and sisters the problem is usually one of fantasising about being alone than actually getting the opportunity to be so.
• Opposite Pluto- rejected by Mother early in life- either real or imagined. I’m the eldest of four and with this much Pisces require high emotional maintenance. Whatever.
• Opposite Uranus- according to Stephen Arroyo in The Chart Interpretation Handbook “there is a gnawing desire to change over one’s identity in a radical way, and to rid oneself of all past encumbrances and conditioning…these people usually find it hard to be happy in the present since they are always powerfully aware of the impact of the past (the Moon) and the future (Uranus). Hmmmmmm- I can’t really argue with this one!

I have been told that I am in denial, that I really do have huge “iss-ues” that need addressing that I brush under the carpet. Again, whatever. Perhaps, but I don’t think so. Sure I have had my “mother” issues- most women do at some point in time.  But, contrary to popular astrological wisdom, my Mum is not harsh, difficult, over bearing, oppressive, power hungry, unstable or absent. Instead, I had a relatively problem free childhood in a fully functional and stable family with two parents who both have our security as their primary concern. In fact, we possibly are a dysfunctional family because of our functionality.

My Mum was (and is) a stay at home Mum who managed to bring us all up with remarkably few hang-ups…and we have all done pretty well for ourselves and have never gone without anything.

Yes, we have had problems in our relationship…because that is what it is, a relationship. I am extremely watery, extremely emotional, selfish in the way that New Moon and 1^st house Suns often are, and have control issues. My Mum is all Air (Sun, Venus and Mercury in Aquarius) and Earth. She has no water. We are two very different people with two very different sets of priorities and trigger points.

My Mum isn’t perfect, no one is…not even me J. In fact, just as in April’s post, the flawed female in this relationship is me.  I am the restless one, the emotionally unstable one, the one who has power issues. I am Moon-Uranus, Moon-Pluto- every Mum has to have some challenges in life J, otherwise they can’t possibly classify it as work J.

Moon/Saturn is me. I am the one who has difficulty with emotional expression. I am the one who has the self confidence of a flea (if, indeed a flea has self confidence) and is defensive around feedback of all types. I am the one who is always going for “good enough”. I am the one who as a child saw criticism where there was encouragement.

Moon/Pluto is also me. Sure my Mum has some pretty Plutonic stuff that went down when she was a kid, but I am the one who is almost compulsively drawn to rejection in order to avoid dependency and loss.

Moon/Uranus is me. My moods come fast and erratically. I am the kid who would stand there with her chin stuck out and her hands on her hips and declare her right to independence, her right to freedom of speech, her right to freedom of thought, her right to be right…and that of whatever my latest cause was.

I am proud of my Mum and I love my Mum- she has done an amazing job with 4 very different children. She is also the very best possible mother for someone like me. With the amount of Pisces and water that I have in my chart, the very likely potential would be for me to wind up broke and broken in a gutter somewhere, addicted to something (possibly anything), with a series of destructive relationships behind me.

If I had a Mum that had allowed me full rein and indulgence of my emotions and did not apply the boundaries that she did, and didn’t push me to perform academically in the way that she did, or ask me to take responsibility in the way that she did I would be a very different version of myself. Thanks to my Mum and her strength, that is not the case.

The astrology may show me a perception of my relationship with my Mum, but it doesn’t show me the reality of it, the potential of it or the triumphs and challenges of it. To see that I would need to look at both charts from a viewpoint of relationship astrology…and that presents a very different and clearer picture. How else can I look at the Moon aspects in the charts of my brother and sisters and see four very different patterns for the same mother?

I look at my own daughter’s Moon aspects (an exact conjunction between the Moon and Neptune) and wonder what issues I will pass on to her. I also look at the relationship synastry between my daughter and my mother and see a relationship that will be positive, supportive and one of true friendship. My daughter’s Aries Sun, Mercury and Mars are conjunct Mum’s Aries Moon. Her Moon is conjunct my Mum’s Sun. Mum’s Venus and Mercury is conjunct my daughters’ Venus. There is some really lovely synastry there.

Perhaps as astrologers, instead of jumping to conclusions about clients’ relationships with their Mother, we take a more balanced approach. Sure Moon aspects (especially the challenging ones) tell us some pretty impressive information about our sub conscious and our feelings toward our families and our Mums, but judgements should not be made in isolation. Mother/child relationships are just that- relationships…each one different, each one important with those experiences touching us intensely in a truly formative way.

My Mum taught me a lot- the bit about never knitting a man a jumper until you are married to him (if you do, it is guaranteed the wedding won’t happen…which could be useful information if you also want to get rid of a man ) I found extremely useful, as was her very special chook meditation (don’t ask). I can only hope that my daughter treasures my pieces of wisdom as much- especially the one about no matter how late, drunk or tired you are, the make- up needs to come off.

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mums of bubs and furry bubs. Happy Mothers Day to all those who are nurturing something or somebody. After all, that is what being a mother is really all about. Happy Mothers Day to my Mum, her Mum and my husbands’ Mum- you have all made our little family what it is and the three of us (four, if you include Kali the wonder spaniel) thank you.

So I have been in deadline disaster for the last couple of days- sort of a combination of too many things coming home to roost at the same time, a little (ok a lot of) procrastination, a teeny little hangover (in fact it was more like jet lag, but without the duty free) and just plain starting too late.

Anyways, all done. I have come up for air and am now in catch up mode.

In the middle of all of this, it was my wedding anniversary on Monday- 18 years married, 23 years together…more than half my life! Whilst that day in Canberra, with me in a white dress and amazing autumn leaves doesn’t seem like it was 18 years ago, at the same time it sort of feels like we have always been together.

Having said that, a lot has changed since that day- my hair colour for one (it used to be my natural colour ie nearly black), my dress size for another (I reckon I was 20kgs lighter). A lot more has changed inside. Hubby is a Taurus Rising, Scorpio Sun, so he doesn’t seem to have changed much at all- a little greyer perhaps, a little more responsible. Anyways, here is a photo of a photo- so very early 1990s! I think also it was probably the last time that I wore white.

So, I did what every self-respecting astrologer would do and I cast a solar return chart for the anniversary. Interestingly we have the same solar return ascendant (Aquarius) as my personal solar return- although naturally it brings a different part of life to the Ascendant.

You can do a return chart for any event that has a birth time, the principles are exactly the same as for individual returns.

The same idea exists when it comes to transits. Whilst the individuals involved in the relationship may be receiving transits to their chart, so too does the relationship. As an example, transiting Uranus will station retrograde exactly on the Moon in our wedding chart later this year and Jupiter is currently tracking through our 8^th house- no wonder more money is going out than coming in!

As promised, here is the link to the biscuits my daughter nags me to bake. They are sinfully perfect for the hungers of the Scorpio Full Moon.

I post all foodie & travel stuff to my non astro blog now- here is the link to and anyways…

You gotta love it when NASA starts talking dirty about the swollen orbs of a Full Moon.

This one is huge- the Moon, that is…about 14% larger than any other full moon of 2012…at least it will appear to be 14%-17% larger (depending, I guess, on your idea of size and perspective). Why? Because the Full Moon coincides with the Moon being at perigee, ie the closest point to Earth in its’ elliptical pattern. This particular perigee is the nearest to Earth of any this year. And, judging from the language used in some of the broadcast materials, this has left the scientists very excited indeedy.

Whilst we might normally say, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, that size doesn’t matter, in this case it does. Seriously, just how Scorpio is that?

The tides are higher (and lower) than normal at perigee (and apogee- when the Moon is at its furthest point from the Earth)- due to the amount of tidal force the Moon has at this time- up to 40% greater.

This Full Moon is bringing with it king tides that will be higher than those usually seen at perigee. I was reading in Twitter yesterday how some South Pacific islands were evacuating their beachfront bures for that reason.

Controversial Kiwi weather-man Ken Ring commented, “There is always a reason to be careful around all perigees, as they exaggerate whatever else is going on in weather. Closest perigees are even more reason to be vigilant.”

King tides, tsunami, earthquakes, tidal force, gravitational pull, emotional storms. Wow. How appropriate then, that this is occurring in Scorpio? I challenge anyone who knows someone with Scorpio Moon or Pluto-Moon (especially the conjunction, square or opposition) not to comment upon the magnetism.

This scaffold was 20 stories in the air. At this point the typhoon was at cat5.

A few years ago, I was in Hong Kong in the middle of a category 8 typhoon. I went outside the hotel to have a look at what was going on, saw the waves lashing at the typhoon shelters in the harbour and escaped with a 6 pack of beer back to the safety of my room. The power of the wind and the rain was destructive, yet also strangely exciting.

So it is with emotional storms. The after effects can be completely cathartic as the fear is washed away. Just as it stings when a bandaid is ripped away, the longer you leave it covered over, the longer the wound takes to heal.

Personally, I’m going to have a good, hard look at what is on my bucket list, the things I really want, the excuses I put around these desires and ambitions and the fears that have stopped me moving forward.

Being a Moon-Pluto opposition, I have a lot of things that are decaying underground that need to be looked at seriously before moving on. That process was started a couple of days ago- with discussions, and semi-confessions that cleared some very stale and manky air. The rest I intend to really sweat out. But then, for me, this Full Moon forms a relatively easy aspect- the trine- to my Ascendant. Whatever is going to happen will happen easily- not necessarily without pain, but also without a lot of resistance.

Another thing of note about this Full Moon is the slowdown of Venus, who is almost at a standstill- not at all the normal mode of movement for this girl, but certainly a good opportunity for us to spend some time reviewing and considering issues of relationship, values and money. Take that to Scorpionic extremes- what you really feel strongly about.

Further, Mercury’s opposition to Saturn means that any consideration will be serious, realistic and mature. Try not to let yourself get drawn into any sort of melancholy with this- the past is the past, history is history and yesterday is, well, so yesterday.

If you do happen to get caught up in some emotional tidal wave (and remember, not all of us will), keep in picture that clean and bright light that follows a storm. The light that all of a sudden lets you see clearly and makes the colours so much more vibrant and fresh.

Oh, todays post title comes from the lyrics of a Shakespear’s Sister song Stay. Check out the youtube video here.

See also In Private

Mooloolaba Beach at sunrise

“I wish I’d never met you more than I could dare to let you go”

Jealousy, Pet Shop Boys

Full Moon 16 Scorpio, Sunday, May 6, 1.36pm (Sydney time)

The Full Moon is like a high beam. The Full Moon in Scorpio has a nasty habit of exposing secrets and fears. But this isn’t just any normal Full Moon, this is a Super Moon (in that it is relatively close to the Earth, so amazingly full) and a Super Moon (in that it is mega emotionally charged).

With the Sun in the opposite sign Taurus, control and trust issues also come to the surface. Taurus is about retention and Scorpio elimination. Are you holding onto something that you no longer need? Maybe there is some truth lurking just beyond plain sight- something you know is there but simply don’t want to face. Under the Scorpio Full Moon it is time to find it, deal with it, get rid of it, move on. If only it were that easy…

Scorpio is that shadowy place where we pack away all of our deepest fears and our deepest desires. It is everything we repress, keep a lid on, hide away, yearn for. Scorpio is pleasure and it is pain, with a very fine line between the two. It is where we torture ourselves waiting for phone calls that we know won’t come, it’s where we feel the exquisite pain of the forbidden. Scorpio is where we go below the surface to find meaning, solutions, complete healing and transformation.

Scorpio is also about power and facing those fears in order to get to your talents and achieve those desires. And there is nothing that has more power over you than fear.  Fear provides you with the completely mistaken idea that you are in control. So, you stay safe, you say no, you build boundaries around yourself- to stop people getting in and to stop yourself from getting out. And all the while you fool yourself that in doing so you have control. Until you don’t.

I think it was Eric Francis (of Planet Waves) who wrote that most people who are scared are actually horny but don’t know what to do about it. I would also add that they are hungry. Ravenously hungry. Hungry for desire, hungry for passion, hungry for power, hungry for control, hungry for revenge. The type of hunger that keeps you awake at night, gnawing at your insides.

This is an appetite that you do one of two things with.

You are scared, so bury the feelings down deep. You dig a big hole in the middle of your soul, throw in the stuff that scares the crap out of you, the things that you desire so much that you can’t bear it, or risk it. You cover the hole with about 6 tons of soil and secure it with a big, heavy wrought iron lid…and a key…with a lock that has a password or a combination…on time delay. Then you sit back sit back and try not to think about what you have missed out on. Let the discontent fester as you feed it from the fridge or the wine cellar- feeding all the gaps that are left when you locked your desires away. Create a few excuses- a few logical reasons why you haven’t fulfilled your potential, grabbed those opportunities, told that one person how you really feel about them.

The thing is, the hunger hasn’t gone away. You still want what (or who) you want, but now you lie awake replaying missed opportunities, the things that you should have said, the things you should have done- if only you weren’t so scared.

The other thing about burying this stuff like a great toxic waste dump, is that sooner or later it will get dug back up, or uncovered- and Scorpio Full Moon is a prime time for that to happen. The problem is, when it does finally come to the surface, it’s all decayed and manky, and even more scary and unpleasant than when it first went underground. Sometimes it’s best just to rip that particular bandaid off.

Alternatively, you can strip Fear of the power you have given her and use it to fuel your courage to do the things that fear has stopped you from doing in the past. Reclaim that power for yourself. Eliminate those beliefs, behaviours and people that are doing you no good. Let them go- sure you may miss them, but not for long. Look deep into yourself and see the truth- you can handle it.  Then get out there and do it- all of it. Seriously, how hard can it be?

Scorpio demands truth and honesty and will usually dig deeply to get at it. Only through emotional detoxing and the symbolic opening of the closet door can you fully confront your unexpressed desires and the fears that you locked away with them and embrace whatever is to come.

For the astro peeps- look at where 16 Scorpio falls in your chart for more clues. On a personal note, this Full Moon falls in my 9^th house, trine my Ascendant, and sextile the Descendant.

Best go- I have some very scary unexpressed desires to find. I think I last saw them hidden in that dark corner behind my boundaries which were pushed somewhere behind those casks of wine…

See also In the Darkness of Your Dreams